A Year in Review - 2011, pt I

So, a year in review post has been brewing for ages. Ages, I tell you. And it’s getting late to do it, but the year 2011 was so full of things - sad, happy, scary, exciting things - that I feel the need to document it somewhere.

2010 ended on a weird mix of ups and downs. I left London in early December after a night when (I believe the exact phrasing, if memory serves me right) the words ‘I don’t particularly want to break up with you’ were uttered. Still, leaving London was what felt like a very permanent thing to do. I had a job lined up for me in Finland and I had decided to move into my late grandmother’s flat. So, independence and stuff was lurking in the not so distant future.

Enter 2011 with hamburger pizza, a drunken call to a strangely alluring boy who did not pick up his phone, shot glass sized tea cups filled with mint hot chocolate and a pretty horrid hangover. Two weeks in I started my job (basically a moderately well paid internship - moderately well for an internship) which to begin with was a six month contract. It was exciting and challenging and meant I was making a steady wage, which was awesome.

At the same time we (me + my parents and sisters) cleared out the flat of most of grandmother’s belongings that basically hadn’t been touched for ten or so years. I painted the kitchen with help from family and friends and occasionally a touch of liquid refreshments. I had my first nap on the sofa and my first meal there. First night I slept in I had a friend stay over with me and there was wine, Chinese take away and Audrey Hepburn. All good things.

First meal in my new home.

It's blurry, but I painted my kitchen green!

I got used to the job, slept on the living room floor for nearly the first month I lived here and life was pretty stable. I kept talking to friends about the situation with the boy in London and they started disapproving the so-called relationship more and more. I didn’t even really realise how unhappy and anxious I was about the situation myself until I broke down and cried on the living room floor of a friend one night. I’m not one to cry in front of people - even good friends - so it was a bit of an eye opener for me.

At some point during the spring there was a Skype conversation where the break up was about to happen. However, it didn’t feel right, after so many years for it to happen like that. And I was still determined to save the relationship, although I think deep down I had given up on it ages ago myself too. I’m just wee bit scared of change and it was comforting to know that someone was there for me at least in theory.

So come the end of April, I flew over to London. It was a strange visit and the most awkwardly timed visit for its purpose. After all, the wedding of the century happened two days before my flight back to Finland. It kind of felt surreal to be in a city that was all about love and marriage and I was there mainly to find closure for a nearly five year long relationship. I won’t go into details and just so you know, there are no hard feelings. The whole period before and after it feels dreamlike now, it’s all covered in a bit of fuzz save for minor details. Such as tears and Pink Floyd. By the time Comfortably Numb came on I had to ask if he had deliberately planned the playlist. He tells me he hadn’t.

I'm really struggling with pt II of the 'Year in Review' posts but I'll get there eventually. I hope. SOON, I hope.